not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
