My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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