that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
