Define "chronic" masturbator.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
