What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
