so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize