you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize