Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
