the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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