No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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