Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
