when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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