Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
