Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
