Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
