i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize