Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize