Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We need a shit load of segways right now
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
