he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
