and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
