hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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