I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
