Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
