before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
