I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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