I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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