I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
