she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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