just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
