Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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