eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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