your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize