"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
