I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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