I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
