Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
