do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
