no, he came in my armpit
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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