I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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