i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
