THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
