You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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