break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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