Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize