Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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