woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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