you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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