I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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