What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize