i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
