I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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