Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
