She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
