Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
