i barfeds in our rink
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
