is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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