you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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