Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
