All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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