I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
