Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
